


Hot Stuff (TM)

by Tpants



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Remus Lupin is a good man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 05:19:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18684928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tpants/pseuds/Tpants
Summary: Remus Lupin is a good man and nearly dies because of Hot Stuff (TM).





	Hot Stuff (TM)

**Author's Note:**

> Totally self-indulgent fic because when life embarrasses you, you have to fix it in fic form.

Remus Lupin is a good man. He gets up in the morning, he goes to work, and he goes home. Sometimes he even goes out for a nice stroll in the evening. Then one fine day Remus barely avoids a motorcycle zooming by him and he is ready to have some strong words with the careless driver.

Or so he thought when the engine was killed off by someone dressed too nicely to be riding a death machine. Mr. Polished dress shoes, pressed slacks, and a well tailored waistcoat over a dove grey dress shirt (top two buttons undone, just by the way) should NOT be riding a Harley. If Remus’ motorcycle instructor from his younger days had anything to say about it, she would agree with him: _“That fine ass is going to be plastered all over the road, but good for you wearing that helmet.”_ Remus hears her voice in his head.

Remus narrows his eyes at the driver, waiting to cross the street. _I hope you have helmet hair._ That would at least be some cosmic justice. And as if the too-well-dressed-for-this-street-stranger heard Remus’ thought, he pulls off his helmet and shakes out beautiful, perfectly lush, dark hair. Remus swears he hears cherubs singing as the hair fell immaculately into place.

_How is that even fair?! He’s fit, well dressed, and has perfect hair._

Remus rolls his eyes at the universe for all of its injustice and begins to cross the street. The last thing he needs that evening is to know that the overly blessed stranger has a perfect nose or something. _Oh, and the cherry on top would be that he has an equally attractive significant other showing up in a Porsche._

As if on cue, Remus hears a horn and he quickly stumbles back out of the street as a car nearly makes him into pancakes. Cursing, Remus makes it across the street with adrenaline pumping in his veins. He didn't confirm if the car was a Porsche but it didn’t park next to the Too-attractive-for-life stranger...who has a jawline that can cut glass and beautiful grey eyes that are looking at him.

Remus misses his step and nearly falls right back into traffic. Cursing again, Remus quickly gets back onto the sidewalk. Only to glance over his shoulder at the sound of barking laughter. Feeling his face flush, Remus instinctively opens the first door he sees and goes into a restaurant. He hadn't had any intention of going in there, but he can’t leave just yet. Too-attractive-for-life might still be outside.

The hostess sits him down at a table and hands him the menu. Remus makes a show of perusing as a cup of water is set at the table. Then he looks at his phone. It’s been five minutes, so he gets up.

“I’m so sorry, my date stood me up.” He lies as he makes his way out of the restaurant and bumped into someone. “Excuse m-Really?!”

The Too-fucking-perfect-for-real-life-stranger has him by the forearm. Remus narrows his eyes at the straight nose right at his eye line. The man smiles with perfectly straight teeth, Remus almost expects them to glisten in the light. That’s really unfair. He wants to find a GQ magazine just to slap that perfect face on the cover. _Who am I kidding? It’s probably already on the goddamn cover._

“Well, if your date has stood you up, I wouldn’t mind keeping you company.” For fucks’ sake, the voice is deep and velvety, too.

Remus was good man. He worked hard. He did his job, gone home, and sometime he wondered into the streets. He didn’t deserve to be tormented by Hot Stuff ™.

What he did deserved was to have a date with Hot Stuff ™.

Remus throws his hands in the air because the universe is determined to make sure he meets this unfairly-attractive-man, “Might as well, since I can’t think of any other way of avoiding you, at this point.” Why fight the universe? Offering his hand, Remus gives the man a sympathetic smile. “Remus Lupin. Guess you’ll be keeping me company.”

There is that barking laugh again before the man takes Remus’ hand. “I’m Sirius.”

“I’m sure you are.” Remus is certain there is nothing that the stranger is not serious about. His looks, his deliberate walk, his bike…

“No, my name is Sirius. Sirius Black.”

“How much did your parents hate you to come up with a name like that?” The words are out of Remus’ mouth before he can stop it and  slap his hands over his mouth.

“Probably a lot.” Sirius did not seem to be bothered. “I think they just threw a dart at a star chart and went ‘that’s his name.’ Don’t worry about it, they’re pretty happy now that I’m disowned.”

“I’ll buy us a drink so I can maybe drown in it before I say anything else.”

“.....I’m underage.”

“Nope. I’m out.” Remus turns to make a quick escape out of there before he gets arrested for jailbait.

“Just kidding. I’m flattered and definitely of age.” Sirius laughs again, tugging Remus back towards the seat Remus vacated moments ago. “I’ll buy you dinner.”

“Great, I’ll take all the rum.”

“Well then, all the rum it is.” Then without hesitation, Sirius ordered _all_ the rum. “Do you want some food with that rum? Chutney sampler with naan, maybe? Or just _all_ the marsala?”

“.....Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Chill with me on Tumblr @artymakeart


End file.
